#46 writing a song

there are many talented songwriters in my life. my friend katie wrote an impressive ditty about a crush she had on a boy at the ymca once, and it moved me. my co-worker, thomas-steele, has recently mastered the auto tuner and writes what are sure to be future dance hits. (my personal favorite is "fish nuggets.") and (seriously now) my little brother, steven, is absolutely gifted in writing songs of worship. so i thought i'd give it a shot, if only for one evening.


this was not a successful first, for many reasons:
1. the lyrics are ridiculous.
2. the tune is atrocious.
3. i use the word "modicon," when i meant "modicum." turns out modicon is both the name of the first programmable logic controller and an oral contraception. either way, i have idiot moments at 0:59 and 1:04. 


a more dignified blogger would not post this. but i say dignity shmignity! this song is entitled "it won't tune." enjoy?

#45 getting all colonial

last weekend, i had the distinct pleasure of hanging out in colonial williamsburg. i had lunch with meredith, a friend from college, at the cheese shop and dinner with one of my favorite families, the nadlers, at the king's arms taverns. here are my thoughts on the experience:


1. never go to the cheese shop on the first warm day of the year. it was completely packed in there. i ordered a simple grilled cheese, so i got out my claustrophobic butt out of there immediately, but mer's slightly more complicated sandwich took almost a half hour. intense.
2. i was extremely disappointed at the lack of olde tyme spelling. i mean, shouldn't it have been "ye olde cheese shoppe"? come on, colonial williamsburg.
3. walking alone down a long dirt road of abandoned colonial houses is simultaneously creepy and awesome. i kind of felt like i was on a movie set.
4. it is refreshing to see friends that i've known for almost a decade. it is unsettling to realize that i have known my college friends for almost a decade.
5. while waiting for the nadlers to arrive at dinner, i sat on a bench outside the restaurant. and then a large group of fifers and drummers passed directly in front of me. my own personal, weird concert.

work it, people.

6. the food at the king's arms tavern was historically correct and satisfied my urge for ye olde tyme spelling. we tried peanut soupe, romaine salat, pan seared seasoned boneless chicken breast, vanilla-scented mashed sweet potatoes, and a variety of condiments, including pickled watermelon, corn relish, and Virginia ham. i don't understand why people pickle things. i mean...ew. everything else was seriously delicious. also, i never could have remembered all that on my own. good thing it was on their website.
7. should a historically correct colonial tavern really have a website?
8. we learned that two famous idioms stem from colonial linen. rich people had giant linen napkins, so they had enough to "tie one on," not so rich people had just enough to "make ends meet." hey, we thought that was cool.
9. i just noticed i can caption photos. yeah, this blog just got a little more awesome.


the end.

butterbeer pictures!

i am in the library using the interweb, so i'm able to post pictures to my heart's content. holler.
and now...chad in an ikea apron!

me in an owl apron!

 courtney in a carrie renfro original apron!

 butterbeer and scrabble and no apron! 

yum.

guest post #5 teaching my niece sweet phrases

and now, a post from one of my best friends, mikkele. she lives in california (land of my people), and has the cutest niece of ever. get excited.

I’m not great with children. I can do all the things associated with keeping kids safe and healthy and even run around and make them laugh for awhile, but I am the first to give them back when they cry or spit up or whatever it is that children do. So when the traditional role of “Aunt” was bestowed upon me with without much warning, I had to figure out what that meant for me, the non-traditional adult that doesn’t swoon the minute I see a baby.

When my niece, Claire, was born, I immediately fell in love. I was simultaneously smitten with the little face staring back at me and terrified I was going to drop her and some permanent damage would be all my fault. Fortunately, that didn’t happen. Quite the opposite, in fact. Claire, now 2 ½ years old, is progressing very nicely in her ability to interact with people and remember important facts and phrases. This is where my first comes in.

Many years ago, Emily and I sat down and created a bucket list for my life. Some items were big (obtain a Master’s, learn a new language) and some items were simple (participate in an Improv Everywhere event, go on a blind date). We decided that I should set a goal for the role of aunt, and we decided on teaching Claire the phrase, “I know, right?”

It is with great pleasure that I announce that I have completed this goal! I even have the video to prove it:

#44 making butterbeer!

i've recently taken a hiatus from imbibing since jeff and i agreed that we want eiley to be as normal as possible before we start messing her up. the lack of alcohol is not a huge deal, though i do miss wine on the occasion ("the occasion" being new year's, game nights, bachelor nights, and saturdays). so when chad suggested we make butterbeer, a completely non-alcoholic beverage, i was excited on several levels: 

1. it sounds like something a pudgy frat boy would drink, which makes this knocked up chick feel cool.  

2. it's inspired by a brilliant piece of modern fiction, and i like books.

3. it provided an opportunity to use my awesome aprons.

chad and courtney came over, and we got straight to cooking. first we made butterscotch, which apparently only requires heating up some water, butter, rum extract, cider vinegar, and approximately a bucket of brown sugar. culinary miracle! we let that cool, scooped it into some glasses, and added cream soda. it tasted like a delicious heart attack. seriously, it was so sugary that i couldn't even partake of the brownies we made. and brownies are my favorite.

this first was a success, even though i subsequently had my first night of being kept awake from someone kicking me in the intestines. apparently fetuses can get hopped up on sugar. 

pictures to follow because my stolen borrowed internet is too slow for uploading pictures.

#43 getting complimented on my urine

at my doctor's appointment yesterday:

LAB TECHNICIAN
Your urine looks good.
EMILY
Gosh, thanks. No one has ever complimented me on my pee before.
Lab technician courtesy laughs while looking slightly concerned.

end scene.

#42 sporting an outie belly button

last week, my stomach started getting big. it looks like i have a little watermelon under my shirt, whereas a few weeks ago it looked like i was wearing unflattering clothes after a huge lunch every day. i actually prefer this watermelon look, but i was not excited to notice that my belly button has started to protrude. it's gross, really. if it gets worse, i intend to tape that sucker down. 

i tried to take a picture of it, but that just didn't work out. too close up, i guess. you'll all be happy to know that i was attempting that picture at my cubicle though. shirt up, camera propped on my belly. it's a shame no one walked by.

i also tried googling "outie belly button." i do not recommend doing that.

so instead, here's a picture of a fennec fox that i stole from the interweb. 

he's as cute as a button. and exponentially cuter than a belly button.