coming from orange county, a mostly cement and sometimes sand paradise, i am not accustomed to the crazy bugs i occasionally encounter here in virginia beach. giant spiders waltz into the house uninvited, worms chill out on the doorstep, mosquitoes munch on my ankles and legs, ants flock to the kitchen (okay this only happened once and i've seen much worse in california), thousands of jellyfish larvae stung me in the ocean water (they are not bugs but they looked like bugs so it totally counts!), dragonflies zoom past my face when i'm walking the dog (fine, i admit they're beautiful), and lightning bugs swarm in the fields (okay, i love them too). but the worst sucker of them all, in my opinion, is the tick.
i was petting buster when i got home for lunch today, and i noticed a tiny bump in his fur. upon closer examination, i saw that the bump had legs. how disgusting do you have to be to want to dive head first into someone's skin? ticks are like tiny hannibal lecters.
i heard it's best to burn the tick's bottom so that it stops latching on to the dog and gets a bit tortured before its worthless little life is extinguished forever. so i lit a match and held it to some tweezers, then i held down my perfectly calm and slightly confused dog, consoled him like he was a small child with a newly broken leg and tased the heck out of that bug. i triumphantly plucked it from my busteroo, then i ran to the bathroom and drowned it in the sink. i hope its death was slow and painful.
i was going to post a picture of a tick here, but...ew. instead, i give you: BUSTER! why oh why would you want to eat him?
not cool, virginia beach ticks. not cool.
in other news, i have heard rumor of bugs called chiggers that crawl beneath your skin and lay eggs. what on earth?! i hope to never write about a first involving them. oh, the horror.
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