last night was the callback for 25th annual putnam county spelling bee. now, i know i should just be happy that i was called back after i botched one of my songs in the original audition, but i'm still finding myself disappointed that this happened:
DIRECTOR
thank you for coming back! i want you to know that all of you would be great at any of the parts in the show, and i wish i could cast you all! unfortunately there is a very limited number of roles, so tonight will mostly be about matching people up. i'm looking for most of the cast to be similar heights, with the adult roles a little taller than the kids. ladies, can you all line up on stage please?
ladies all line up on stage. our protagonist, emily, is approximately seven inches taller than the rest of the ladies, and she looks much too young to have an adult role.
END SCENE
i'm fairly certain that the director mentally drew a big red X over me right then and there.
next, she had several groups go on stage and read scenes together. everyone at the callback was in at least one of those groups. i was in less than one of those groups.
next, she had several of the guys read one part. then, she had several of the girls read another part. i did get a chance to do this, but it had been about 40 minutes since i'd last spoken so my voice sounded like i had just woken up even though i was supposed to be peppy, peppy, peppy.
then she had the guys sing some scales. finally, she had us learn a short dance. i flubbed the ending, but i'm 97% sure she wasn't even glancing in my direction anymore at that point.
a note: every time one of the kids loses in the spelling bee, the rest of the cast sings a goodbye song. i'm hoping the director will sing that when she calls to tell me i'm not in. it would add a happy little surprise to that wildly predictable conversation.
in conclusion, i blame my parents and my gene pool for this flop.
I was going to comment that you're certainly not a behemoth - you're not even really that tall...then I realized that would mean that I thought the callback must not have gone well because you just suck. And I don't mean that at all. What I mean is....oh, poop. Never mind.
ReplyDeleteSo, I do actually read this but I fail at commenting. So in response to your last several posts, I have compiled 4 comments here for your reading pleasure:
ReplyDelete1) Yay for auditioning! It takes a lot of guts and can be incredibly awkward. Especially for small/community theatres. Don't ask me why, I think it's a rule or something. Also, small places have a TON of politics. So don't read too much into it.
2) Spelling Bee is also on my list of must do shows. I HAVE to play Olive. We must do it someday, even if it's just in your living room. Which might not be a bad idea. Maybe we can figure out a way to put the spoodles in it too.
3) I have never, ever, for one second thought of you as "just Jeff's wife."
4) I should borrow The Help from you at some point. I've been wanting to read it for a long time.
nice...i can handle that "conclusion" from my behemoth, giant, daughter... pffffttt... they have NO idea who they passed up...very proud of your tenacity...(can we at least take credit for THAT gene??) love you xoxo
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