So, I'm pregnant (in case you somehow missed that) and it turns out being pregnant is strikingly similar to being a lab mouse. This week's test was for gestational diabetes. I admit, I don't fully understand what the ramifications will be if I am diagnosed with that; however, I do know that the test ruined the first half of my week.
For three days before the test, I was on a special high carb, high sugar diet. Sounds kind of fun, right? Wrong. Being forced to eat a dozen cupcakes in three days is not awesome. I started to resent them, and it's never good to feel such emotions toward inanimate objects. Especially inanimate objects that have sprinkles.
The night before the test, I had to fast starting at midnight. Don't worry, I had a snack at 11:45. The day of the test, we arrived at the doctor's office ready to go. The lab tech took my blood, then I drank an orange, syrupy drink, and then we waited. I won't bore you with the whole four hour visit. Here are highlights:
- Due to my lack of caffeine, I may have been less than cordial to the first nurse we saw. Sorry, lady! I adjusted my attitude after meeting with her, but I still feel medium bad.
- I usually lay down for anything with needles. Well, I did so well with the first blood draw, I decided to be brave and sit in a chair for the second one, like the rest of the grown ups.
- I learned my lesson and laid down for blood draws three and four.
- I had four different nurses ask if I'd left a urine sample. These people really should work on their small talk.
- I'm rocking some track marks. I'm so street, yo.
- Man, chicken nuggets and diet coke taste good when you haven't eaten in 12 hours.
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| Okay, it doesn't look quite this bad. Courtney enhanced the ugly for dramatic effect. |
In conclusion, this is a first I do not want to repeat. Ever. Good grief. This child better be freaking adorable.
