#23 finding out your best friend is pregnant

i should preface this by mentioning that i have plucked up several "best" friends over the years. they are all from very different places in my life though, so i think they can still be called my best despite the fact that best really implies a singular entity. i feel like i should give a shout out to them all (and include really flattering pictures for visual aids):


tiffany is my best childhood/lifelong friend. we met at church when i was two weeks old and she was five weeks old and we had a common love for napping, eating, and pooping. now our interests have changed and we enjoy watching bad movies and playing scrabble and...well, we still love eating. tiffany is an incredible nurse, currently working in a nicu here in virginia.

zoe is my best college/roommate for life friend. we were roommates our sophomore year of college. she saw me through some of my most dramatic moments and has been a constant source of wisdom. we have a common love of randomness and writing. she's one of the most profound thinkers i know, which is good for me because i tend toward the shallow, and she's an incredible photographer. i secretly think her mind powers come from her gorgeous curly hair. here she is with manny, her husband!

mikkele is my best post college friend. we were roommates for the year before i married jeff. in fact, we became roommates a few weeks before jeff and i were engaged. i knew when i met her that we were going to be very good friends and i even briefly considered asking her to be a bridesmaid, but decided that would be weird and put too much pressure on the future of our friendship. i was right in the end though, which leads me to believe that snap judgment isn't always a bad thing. mikkele and i bring out the best in each other. i don't know who is reading this, but i know you would have fun hanging out with mikkele and me. we are amusing. i'd give examples, but they wouldn't do us justice. also, she is probably the coolest person i know due to various things including her taste in music, craftiness, willingness to do anything, and ability to pull off these sunglasses:

arabella is my best virginia friend. we share a love of bad television, good literature, judice and the merrell sisters, and singing original songs together that one of us makes up on the spot. she is a talented actress but doesn't let acting consume conversations, and she's a really terrible origami-ist. some day we'll make movies and our production company will be called "texifornia." 

but this is really all about the zoe. zoe called me on june 2 at 1:44 pm, while i was at work, to tell me the good news that she was knocked up. since i was at work, i was not able to fully emote, and the joy i was feeling nearly burst out of me via tears. i just welled up in the end, but i can't explain the excitement. here, i'll try: it was the feeling i'd get if i went to disneyland on christmas day to see an ingrid michaelson concert while eating in-n-out. that's a lot of excitement, folks. 


this is a first that i will be happy to repeat. good thing i have three more best friends and a sister. get busy, girls. (well, start dating a boy, get married, and then get busy, girls. except you, arabella. you get busy now.)

guest post #1: walking on stilts

so, i recently had a first. and i am not, in fact, emily—by the way. i am chad. emily and jeff’s neighbor, and a part of the acting program with jeff. 

so, let me give you a bit of background. i decide to use my mfa in acting training by puppetering (my favorite term for it) a pre-recorded, 15 minute long puppet show on the beachfront. that’s enough background.

well, i was scheduled to work on monday, so off i went. i pull into the parking lot and find out we’re on hold due to weather. so, what do entertainers do when they’re told to hold? entertain themselves. in between the monsoons, we would hang out and talk, then as it would start raining again, we’d all scurry to our cars. 

well, during one such hang-out session, i noticed that the entrance to the parking lot had flooded. and i cracked a dad joke—emily will tell you that this is a normal occurrence. i don’t remember exactly what i said, but it was something about how only the stilt-walkers would be able to ford the river to get out—yeah, i know. and the conversation kept going and next thing i know, there are stilts and—well, let me show you:

so yeah! i walked on stilts! ...and yes, those are TOMS, thank you for asking. i don’t know how they do it. the funniest thing that happened was when the stilts were being put on my feet, i saw a group of street entertainers watching and they started running over. i hear the german juggler shout, “oh, this is going to be good.” it was very inspiring... anyway, i get up on the stilts and, well, it is a miracle from God that i didn’t fall. i nervously explained to the surrounding entertainers that i had never done this before to which they reply: “we can see.” again, inspiring. even further, they debated for a while whether they were on correctly...so much more inspiring. well, i stayed up there for about five minutes just, you know, hanging out...on stilts...during a lightning storm...like you do. then i got a little over-zealous and took a step, where i lost my balance and luckily was caught by one of the professionals. another guy (who was not a stilt-walker—actually, i have no idea what he does...) shouted, “you have to lift your leg and walk heel-to-toe.” his advice was manna from heaven. ...i could only get so far as the end of the tailgate...and then i freaked out about turning around...but i did and continued walking a bit. i then wanted to get down. but i had a lot of fun!

in conclusion, i hope for more rainy days to learn stilt-walking. it was...awesome. but not fazawesome. back to you, emily.

#22 going to a greek festival

this happened over a month ago, but i somehow didn't write about it. maybe because, due to my mild claustrophobia, it wasn't that eventful for jeff and me. 


we went to a greek festival - in fact, we went to "tidewater area's oldest and largest ethnic festival." impressive, right? riiight. i wanted to see some dancing and try a new kind of food. this greek festival was at a greek orthodox church, and when we arrived, i was mildly shocked to see the entire place filled to busting with people smoking and drinking. i'm not morally opposed to either (though i do think smoking is icky), but i was still surprised to see it all happening on church grounds. jeff and i wove through the crowd in a daze, distracted by the amount of people, the noise, and the group of dancers on stage, which was comprised of a couple of portly greek men and a slew of drunk, middle aged white women. eventually we snaked back to a dessert stand. we waited in a long line and bought two small orders of loukoumades, which are basically big, airy donut holes covered in honey and sesame seeds. 

that is a small order. they were delicious, but i could feel my arteries clogging with each little bite. 

after we ate, we watched the drunken dancers for a bit longer. they were not drunk enough to be interesting though, so we ventured into the hellenic center's marketplace. we glanced at some jewelry, paintings, and the greek flag emblazoned on shirts, aprons, onesies, etc. again - bored. 

so then we left. 

meh. 

ukulele update

apparently the marriage uke isn't just for decoration - it just needs new strings! in the meantime, i am enjoying learning little ditties and ignoring the fact that it's wildly out of tune. 


here's a snippet for you to enjoy...or mock. i'm really cool with either.

#21 playing the ukulele

my father has played guitar my whole life. often i found him reclined in his chair, eyes glazed over, strumming the guitar while he watched tv. weekly, he led worship on the guitar at church. yearly, he led a Christmas caroling assembly for his elementary school on the guitar. once, he ran through the house to rescue his guitar during an earthquake (don't worry, it survived). his deep affinity for guitars was contagious, and to this day, i try to figure out what kind of guitar artists use when i go to concerts or church. and i prefer takamines and taylors, thank you for asking.

one day i decided it would be fun to learn to play guitar. i had my own free teacher, after all. so daddy and i sat down, guitars in hand, and he taught me a chord. i don't recall which chord it was, but i do distinctly remember not being able to properly hold the strings down with my sad, weak little fingers. after five minutes of trying, i gave up my guitar playing dream. 

fast forward to present time. my favorite musician is ingrid michaelson. she plays a plethora of instruments, and some of my favorite songs of hers feature the uke (check out you and i or her cover of creep). my uncle dan works in a ukulele shop and adores the instrument, and he has invited my parents into the ukulele circle as well. dan even personalized a ukulele for jeff and i when we got married - our picture is inside the sound hole, and a hawaiian marriage song is written on the back. 

here in virginia beach, my friend katie fridsma plays the ukulele. in fact, just last week we had a power outage, and katie's roommate returned home to find katie perched on her bed, surrounded by candles, playing the uke. such is katie's passion for the instrument - it's reached heights of romantic love. so i asked katie to teach me to play. i figured my sad, weak little fingers could handle this instrument. it's like guitar: lite!

katie brought over her uke, and i dusted off my marriage uke, and away we went. we started with G. next i learned B. then i learned C. then C minor. BAM! radiohead's creep! next i learned what's up by 4 non blondes (trust me, you know this song) and finally dark blue by jack's mannequin. 

by the end of the hour, my fingers looked like this, my instructor looked like that, and the marriage uke was deemed only functional as a decoration because of its inexplicable ability to fall out of tune within seconds of being tuned. 

in conclusion, i loved this hour and want my own ukulele even though the tip of my index finger is still numb today.

#20 watching a pink floyd laser show

the dream: a pink floyd laser show will be totally far out. i mean, psychadelic, man. i will be instantly transported into the groovy 70s, dig? the whole evening will be peace, love, soul. i'll be mesmerized by the funkadelic array of dancing light and fog and general trippiness. to sum up, the night will be, in my father's words, "bitchin'." 


the reality: we showed up at the beach. we drank some wine to get a little loose while still remaining within the law. we arrived at the wrong street on the beach, so we followed the green lasers to the show. once there, we plopped in front of a billowing screen and watched some mediocre line drawing animation before getting bored and leaving. 


things i discovered:
1. you probably actually have to be high to enjoy this. like, with illegal substances. boooooo.
2. it's probably way cooler at an indoor show - like at the griffith park observatory, where i first heard of pink floyd laser shows.
3. i don't actually like pink floyd. the repetition grated on my nerves. i might have enjoyed a led zeppelin show better.
4. lasers aren't as cool as they sound. can someone explain the difference between a movie and a laser show? why should i have been impressed?
5. and finally, i discovered that i don't know how to properly punctuate the last word in my first paragraph above. it doesn't look right. oh well. this first was a failure. 

#19 removing a tick from the dog

i did this today for the second time, but the first time was less than a month ago, so it's still new. i'll write about today's experience, even though last time is still horrifically fresh in my mind. 


coming from orange county, a mostly cement and sometimes sand paradise, i am not accustomed to the crazy bugs i occasionally encounter here in virginia beach. giant spiders waltz into the house uninvited, worms chill out on the doorstep, mosquitoes munch on my ankles and legs, ants flock to the kitchen (okay this only happened once and i've seen much worse in california), thousands of jellyfish larvae stung me in the ocean water (they are not bugs but they looked like bugs so it totally counts!), dragonflies zoom past my face when i'm walking the dog (fine, i admit they're beautiful), and lightning bugs swarm in the fields (okay, i love them too). but the worst sucker of them all, in my opinion, is the tick.


i was petting buster when i got home for lunch today, and i noticed a tiny bump in his fur. upon closer examination, i saw that the bump had legs. how disgusting do you have to be to want to dive head first into someone's skin? ticks are like tiny hannibal lecters. 


i heard it's best to burn the tick's bottom so that it stops latching on to the dog and gets a bit tortured before its worthless little life is extinguished forever. so i lit a match and held it to some tweezers, then i held down my perfectly calm and slightly confused dog, consoled him like he was a small child with a newly broken leg and tased the heck out of that bug. i triumphantly plucked it from my busteroo, then i ran to the bathroom and drowned it in the sink. i hope its death was slow and painful.


i was going to post a picture of a tick here, but...ew. instead, i give you: BUSTER! why oh why would you want to eat him?

not cool, virginia beach ticks. not cool.


in other news, i have heard rumor of bugs called chiggers that crawl beneath your skin and lay eggs. what on earth?! i hope to never write about a first involving them. oh, the horror.