#20 watching a pink floyd laser show

the dream: a pink floyd laser show will be totally far out. i mean, psychadelic, man. i will be instantly transported into the groovy 70s, dig? the whole evening will be peace, love, soul. i'll be mesmerized by the funkadelic array of dancing light and fog and general trippiness. to sum up, the night will be, in my father's words, "bitchin'." 

the reality: we showed up at the beach. we drank some wine to get a little loose while still remaining within the law. we arrived at the wrong street on the beach, so we followed the green lasers to the show. once there, we plopped in front of a billowing screen and watched some mediocre line drawing animation before getting bored and leaving. 

things i discovered:
1. you probably actually have to be high to enjoy this. like, with illegal substances. boooooo.
2. it's probably way cooler at an indoor show - like at the griffith park observatory, where i first heard of pink floyd laser shows.
3. i don't actually like pink floyd. the repetition grated on my nerves. i might have enjoyed a led zeppelin show better.
4. lasers aren't as cool as they sound. can someone explain the difference between a movie and a laser show? why should i have been impressed?
5. and finally, i discovered that i don't know how to properly punctuate the last word in my first paragraph above. it doesn't look right. oh well. this first was a failure. 


#19 removing a tick from the dog

i did this today for the second time, but the first time was less than a month ago, so it's still new. i'll write about today's experience, even though last time is still horrifically fresh in my mind. 

coming from orange county, a mostly cement and sometimes sand paradise, i am not accustomed to the crazy bugs i occasionally encounter here in virginia beach. giant spiders waltz into the house uninvited, worms chill out on the doorstep, mosquitoes munch on my ankles and legs, ants flock to the kitchen (okay this only happened once and i've seen much worse in california), thousands of jellyfish larvae stung me in the ocean water (they are not bugs but they looked like bugs so it totally counts!), dragonflies zoom past my face when i'm walking the dog (fine, i admit they're beautiful), and lightning bugs swarm in the fields (okay, i love them too). but the worst sucker of them all, in my opinion, is the tick.

i was petting buster when i got home for lunch today, and i noticed a tiny bump in his fur. upon closer examination, i saw that the bump had legs. how disgusting do you have to be to want to dive head first into someone's skin? ticks are like tiny hannibal lecters. 

i heard it's best to burn the tick's bottom so that it stops latching on to the dog and gets a bit tortured before its worthless little life is extinguished forever. so i lit a match and held it to some tweezers, then i held down my perfectly calm and slightly confused dog, consoled him like he was a small child with a newly broken leg and tased the heck out of that bug. i triumphantly plucked it from my busteroo, then i ran to the bathroom and drowned it in the sink. i hope its death was slow and painful.

i was going to post a picture of a tick here, but...ew. instead, i give you: BUSTER! why oh why would you want to eat him?

not cool, virginia beach ticks. not cool.

in other news, i have heard rumor of bugs called chiggers that crawl beneath your skin and lay eggs. what on earth?! i hope to never write about a first involving them. oh, the horror.


#18 flossing my teeth with my hair

once upon a time (the time being june 8 at approximately 8:07 pm), we ate corn on the cob at a family barbecue. now, i'm normally a cut-the-corn-OFF-the-cob kind of girl, but this time i decided to dive in face first and typewriter that cob into oblivion. 

which is why i ended up with corn stuck - nay, wedged! cemented! permacorned! - between my teeth. there was no floss in sight, and i hadn't packed any because we were on vacation and i don't work on vacation. flossing is work, don't you agree? stop judging me.

i asked my brand new cousins, chris and kendra, if they had brought floss. they hadn't. so we rifled through the drawers at the condo where they were staying. still no floss. 

i went a full three hours with permacorned teeth and played rummikub, which i'm now realizing i probably lost because of the distraction of the evil corn. by the time we returned to our hotel for the evening, it was driving me nuts. 

so i did the only thing i could think to do and flossed my teeth with my hair. gross? yes. effective? you bet. that anti-breakage shampoo and conditioner is starting to pay for itself. 

in conclusion: 


p.s. i. love. corn. almost as much as winning. i do not really think corn is evil. i just like it best when it's in not my teeth. 


#17 rooting for a west coast team in an east coast sports bar


i have always loved winning. i don't know when that started in me, but i'm certain it comes from my father who is one of the most patient, gentle men i know but becomes a smidge crazy on the playing field. or court. or our front yard. my sister, jenna, and i most enjoyed it when he was playing tennis, made a mistake, and very seriously shouted at himself "COME ON, TIM!" i sometimes shout the exact same thing when i'm frustrated.

how convenient, therefore, that i grew up near a winning team. the lakers have won more nba championships in my lifetime than any other team. (the bulls trail by one championship: lakers have had seven, bulls have had six.) i was obsessed with them from 99 - 01, but then i went to college and i haven't lived with a tv with cable since, which has really hindered my game watching ability. 

last night, jenna and i decided to revive our laker spirit and watch a game at a bar here in virginia beach. she wore laker colors, i wore my 1988 nba championship shirt (those were magical times. ha.) and we boldly sat ourselves near the bar, prepared to defend the honor of derek, kobe, pau, luke, lamar, ron and those other guys that we don't know very well.

well, it turned out to be less than thrilling. half the bar was cheering for the lakers already. and there was very little suspense in the game - we were up by at least 17 the majority of the time. my favorite moment was probably when something like this happened (except there were befuddled celtics surrounding him instead of a king behind him): 

this guy almost makes shannon seem like an acceptable name for a man. almost.

in conclusion, rooting for my west coast team in an east coast bar was not as entertaining as i thought it would be; however, i still enjoyed all the winning.


#16 playing rummikub

on our trip to naples, jeff and i hung out with his cousin chris, chris's wife kendra, and their son jeremiah. i had never met them before and jeff hadn't seen them in 17 years, which is a shame because they are awesome. 

the night before jeff and i went back to virginia beach, chris taught us how to play rummikub. now, i had played with rummikub a lot as a child at my grandma's house, but never formally learned the game. i just liked this little guy:

what child wouldn't want to play with a tile that features a bald, wrinkly, sarcastic bitty moon man?!

turns out he's the joker. who knew? 

anyway, rummikub, much like scrabble, is a near perfect game: there's a delightful balance between luck and strategy. since i was new, i was pretty light on the strategy, and my luck seemed rather thin that night too, but i could see myself getting into this game. now i just need to buy it.  


#15 swimming in the gulf of mexico

jeff and i went to naples, florida for our second anniversary last weekend, and i experienced a veritable cornucopia of firsts. i plan to drag them out in several posts so i don't go three weeks without writing again. 

swimming in the gulf of mexico was a delight. it was a completely new experience - utterly different from swimming in the atlantic, where there are creatures that sting, or dipping my toe in the pacific, which tends to be approximately 13 degrees. 

the gulf's water was 83.5 degrees (i'm not exaggerating - there was a sign on the beach) and the color of my favorite mini cooper (that's a dusty light blue in case you didn't know). we swam out and sat on noodles and bobbed in the swells like little apples in a sloshy bucket. occasionally, i'd scrape my feet on the ocean floor and find sand dollars wedged in the fine white sand. living sand dollars! neat. we bobbed for so long that we got sunburned. less than a week later, jeff looks like he has a touch of leprosy with his shirt off.

i also saw a manatee from the shore. it surfaced twice. arabella informed me that the myth of the mermaid was rooted in people seeing manatees. i couldn't help but think of how fat that animal is - what if ariel had been obese? (i just googled "fat ariel mermaid" to see if anyone has drawn a fat ariel, and one of the pictures that came up was an ariel at disneyland. poor thing. she's not really fat, but who would want their picture to appear when "fat" is searched?) 

in conclusion, i loved this experience. a lot. 

an obvious note: bp's spill hasn't wafted over to naples just yet, so we weren't floating around in oil.