#14 going to busch gardens

i went to busch gardens for the first time on saturday with jeff, arabella, and shep (and other fun friends for parts of the day). here are some highlights, many of which were firsts: 

• griffon: this is one of only two floorless diving machines in the united states and one of only six in the world. (i am not a roller coaster junkie, i just appreciate good trivia.) a diving machine is characterized by wide rows - the griffon has three rows of ten - and a vertical drop. it amazes me that these rides don't scare me at all (they tend to make me giggle uncontrollably), but you put me a few feet away from a strange man with a white face, painted smile, and oversized shoes and i freak out. 
• a bunch of other rides: none were quite as notable as griffon, though i do recommend alpengeist, which made me feel like i could fly and made shep feel like he was in a fighter jet. he even made sound effects. 
• celtic fyre: this show was like west side mamma mia story in ireland. it was a wedding reception in an irish pub, and then some american tap dancers showed up and they had a tap vs. irish dance battle. weird. but there were some good moments, and we had a snack break and air conditioning, so it was good.
• oktoberfest: we watched part of this show while we were eating our ridiculously overpriced lunch. i think i should have been german - i could totally tear up their dance floor. oy oy oy!
• more...pet shenanigans: well, we didn't make it to this show. but i'm certain it would have been a favorite and i am still bitter that we didn't see it. next time. next. time.
• sheep: there were sheep, and i heard one baa. i'm not sure i'd ever heard a sheep so distinctly say 'baa' before. thrilling. it was like 'babe: live' without the talking pig. 
• beer: i had one sip. i had never done that at an amusement park before. i do not understand the mix of alcohol and rides. it sounds pretty awful to me. 
• swings: this was neither new nor notable, but it was one of the only pictures we took. jeff is behind the camera, obviously. 

end scene.

soon: skateboarding and grape stomping and lying! 

#13 becoming an expert on an obscure historical event

war of the roses was interesting, and i started to learn about that. but then someone informed me that was not, in fact, obscure. so i decided to go with the invention of the zipper. many people know what a zipper is - i might even venture that most know what a zipper is - but few know its elusive history. without further delay, i present "The Creation of the Zipper," or "Why Elias Howe Was Kicking Himself From the Grave in 1917."


elias howe in 1851:
i. love. clothes. i love designing, sewing, and coming up with new ways to design and sew. i've been working most of my life as a mechanic, fixing machines that make wool and yarn and other such things, so i'm thinking i'd like to combine my passions of clothes and machinery and create a machine that helps with sewing. also in development are new types of clothes latches. i recently created one such latch, which i've patented as "an automatic, continuous clothing closure." it still has some snags, but i'm just too busy working on my machine for sewing to perfect it.


whitcomb judson in 1893: 
i have a pal who has a stiff back. poor fellow can't even bend over to lace up his boot. so last week he looks over at me all sad and in pain; he looks and me and says "judson, you claim to be an inventor, invent me up some laceless boots!" knowing that to be utterly impossible, i quickly created the clasp locker. the clasp locker basically is a device that makes hook and eye closures easier to connect. i am awesome.


gideon sundback in 1913:
i work at universal fastening company, the company that manufactured the clasp locker back in the day. i needed a bonus so my wife and i could throw a party to celebrate the passing of the seventeen amendment, so i invented a separable fastener. unfortunately the patent wasn't issued until 1917, so we ended up having a party to celebrate woodrow wilson beginning his second term as our president. 


b.f. goodrich in 1925:
i make boots. good, sturdy boots. and i'm always looking for ways to make them more modern. i'm a forward thinking man, you know. so i incorporated sundback's separable fastener into the design of my boot. they look great! i always tell the boys "zip 'er up!" when they're showing the new style to the crowds. 


bam. zipper'd. 


end scene.


tomorrow: learning to skateboard.

#12 getting congratulated for being pregnant

this wasn't a new thing that i brought upon myself. at least i don't think i did. i really don't think my shirt was that unflattering. i mean, pregnant women are beautiful (hi, erica!), but it's not fun to be called pregnant when you're not pregnant, especially when you love snacking as much as i do.


anyway, the conversation went like this:
"congratulations!" - unnamed person who was smiling so squintily that i wasn't entirely sure she was looking at me
"umm..." (look behind myself and no one is there.) "me?" - me, giving her chance #1 to realize that i don't know what she means and that if i was pregnant, i probably would know what she meant
"yes, you! congratulations!" - unnamed person, still confidently smiling
"umm...thanks. for what?" - me, giving her chance #2 to back out
"your pregnancy! aren't you pregnant?" - unnamed person, still confidently smiling
(i hide behind jeff.) 
"i'm never wearing this shirt again!" - me, slightly mortified


i realize i could have lived up to my middle name and handled that about 1000 times more gracefully since she was probably just mixing me up with erica, the wife of an actor slightly similar to jeff in the program, and she was just being nice. but my kneejerk reaction was hiding. i really am 12 sometimes. 

#11 tending to a gaping wound

i admit, "gaping" might be a tad strong. more accurately, this wound was oozing with blood and swelling like fresh melons, and the surrounding bruises came in an array of colors that would make the good folks at pantone dizzy with excitement. i have issues with needles and vomit (and clowns, but that seems irrelevant here, doesn't it?) but apparently i can handle caring for someone with blood falling out of him. it helped that it was my husband, jeff, who took some particularly nasty stage dives this weekend. i'd probably be less likely to wipe blood off a passing stranger - that would be odd.

anyway, this dressing a wound was a first for me. it left me feeling glad that i could do something to help him and only mildly grossed out. the picture doesn't do it even a smidgen of justice, but enjoy. note how clean the wound looks.

tomorrow: becoming an expert on an obscure historical event. suggestions please!

#10 seeing a show three times in a row

specifically, seeing a show three times in a row which i am not involved in. 
thursday, i went to Godspell.
friday, i went to Godspell.
saturday, i went to olive garden...then i went to Godspell. 


obviously, i'm not just some crazy person who loves Godspell - jeff is in it! and he's pretty great in it, if you ask me and many other people. but putting him aside, seeing a show three times in a row was a fascinating experience. 


first, the audience affected my experience. thursday was a small group, and the energy was a bit low. the show was still enjoyable, but some of the jokes fell flat. friday, the audience brought a lot more excitement, and the cast seemed to feed off of that. saturday, the audience was even more responsive - the cast had to pause for laughter several times. 


second, my seat changed things up. thursday, i sat in the very back of mezzanine right, which made me feel more like i was watching a movie or television and less like i was experiencing live theater. i felt like i could talk if i wanted to - this was partly because it was so empty and there weren't other patrons around us, but partly because of the distance. i did refrain from talking, except for one part where they all repeat "the law and the prophets" over and over again and it sounds kind of rappy and i like that part so i rapped along. friday, i sat in orchestra right. that was annoying because i wasn't getting a big picture of the show. saturday, i was at the very front of mezzanine center. i loved that! i felt like part of the action - i had to hold back from high fiving the cast as they ran by during one song. 


third, my company altered my experience. thursday, i was with theater kids. i knew they would enjoy the experience and that they were similarly there to root on specific actors. i was relaxed the whole time. friday, i went with my sister who tends to find theater boring and her new boyfriend, who i had no clue what his views on theater were but his first question after sitting down was "so...how long is this going to last?" this made me nervous and edgy the whole time - every time something was slightly avant garde, i wanted to either explain it to them or apologize, but i could do neither. i was put at ease a little bit at intermission when jenna said she was enjoying it, but there was still an element of eek for me. saturday, i went with a friend who is a theater kid but has no prior knowledge of the book of matthew. i felt comfortable but prayerful as well, hoping that the show would open a great conversation. it didn't end up doing that for us, but i'm hopeful that it gave her some kind of new understanding of what we believe. 


fourth, the sheer repetition of the show for me gave me new insights each time. i noticed little things that the actors were doing that added to the show. i started to understand some of the scripture in a new light. i also noticed when mistakes were made and had a very critical eye by the third viewing - that's probably the worst side effect. 


all in all, i enjoyed the experience, and was glad to support jeff in something he's so gifted at. plus it's a great show. i think i'll see it again this friday.


later today: my new experience of tending to a gaping wound! 

#9 selling something i've decoupaged

okay, my decoupaged masterpiece is on ebay. i feel a little weird trying to sell some of my art - if you can call it art - but feel free to tell your friends, especially those who are in the market for an interesting, artsy new journal. there are many things you can use it for:

- writing a play

- making grocery lists

- recording points for a game of dominoes

- coloring pictures 

- feeding goats

- wrapping up old gum

- writing a novel

- documenting your life

- composing a song

- creating a flipbook

- fanning yourself

ready? go! http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=120559714013&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT

p.s. proof that i karate chopped a magazine. (thanks for the picture, courtney):

proof that i popped open the champagne (well, it's not really proof. in fact, this isn't even the right cork. dog ate the real cork, this is just a stand-in):

tomorrow: possibly knitting. possibly becoming an expert on an obscure historical event. possibly something even better that you suggest, keeping in mind that i'll have about two hours of free time.

#8 popping open a bottle of champagne

i finally decoupaged yesterday! but that was not going to be the new thing - i've done that a hundred times before (or at least like 37). the new thing was going to be selling it. i will do that today. so keep your eye out on ebay if you are in the market for a delightful new journal.


i was going to call yesterday (and the day before that and the day before that. ack.) a wash, but then arabella brought over sparkling wine and i realized that i'd never before popped open a bottle. to be honest, it terrifies me because sometimes people do it wrong and it sounds like a gun shot and i thought that if i did it wrong someone might lose an eye or a limb. or my dog. 


but there was no destruction of any kind. i simply shimmied the cork carefully out of the bottle. i was so careful that my pop! was really more of a pa. 


kind of anti-climactic, don't you think? next time i'll aim for something and just let it rip.