when i learned that regent, the university where i work, was having a tricycle derby, i knew i was going to compete. i mean, tricycles are in my blood. i've been told that two of my great-grandmothers, one which i am named for, used to race trikes at the park.
i assembled an amazing team - me and four guys from the office. we secured a lovely group of cheerleaders. we even had one guy on standby as pit crew. we decided to call ourselves "tri-ceratops." clever, right? regent even provided green shirts to go with the dinosaur theme. they didn't have scales on them, but they had our name and they were free.
there were only two other teams competing - team awesome and rollin' in the money (or something like that). the course was short, and we were to go around twice. it looked easy.
gary had the first leg of the race, and he quickly gave us a solid lead. and then i got on. brace yourself for some excuses, people:
1. i am out of shape. i did not think this would matter in a freaking tricycle race.
2. the tricycle has tiny, tiny wheels, which means approximately 153 rotations per meter.
3. if you pedal too fast, your feet fly off the pedals. this could be deadly.
4. gary had the red tricycle, but some guy from team NOT awesome took it from him right before the start.
5. i'm really, really out of shape. aerobically speaking.
so i hopped on and pedaled with all my might and flailed about each time my feet went faster than the pedals. and the guy from team NOT awesome passed me. i was only a couple meters behind him when i reached kal, who was at the next stop.
by the time gary reached me in the second lap, i was still out of breath from lap one and our team was slightly more behind. by the time i reached kal the second time, we were WAY behind. luckily this failure happened in a place where spectators couldn't see, so not many knew i was the main reason that we lost.
in related news, i'd like to thank kledia, from team rollin' in the money, who could not operate her tricycle. i dedicate our second place win to you!